Things I wish you understood These are some really important things I want everyone in my life, or others' lives, who don't have Arthritis to understand. I am sorry if I'm on edge. Don't be upset about it. I do my very best to seem "normal" every day. But I get exhausted and sometimes I snap. I'm sorry if I don't seem focused on you. I'm always extremely tired for multiple reasons. Flare ups, meds, lack of sleep, stress. The little things add up differently with me than with you. It breaks me inside if I have to cancel plans. But my body is not always up to having plans. I wish I could be as active as you all but I can't. I hate my bad health and sudden changes as much as you do. I have no clue why my body does this to me. Please just help me deal. I don't like to whine or complain. I sometimes just need to vent. It builds up inside of me and it just happens. I'm not looking for pity or attention. Just a ear to listen and a hand to hold and someone to hug. I'm Fine... not. Sometimes I find it hard to describe what is going on with me. If you ask what's wrong with me and I say "I'm fine" when I'm clearly not, it's ok to ask questions or not. But if you decide to press further, be prepared for the dam to break because "I'm fine" usually means "I'm struggling to hold it together and will come undone at any moment". If I tell you I'm hurting without being asked, then it's REALLY bad. I have a different pain tolerance than most, and since I've grown used to pain, if I feel it then it's beyond excruciating. If you give me all these suggestions as to how to cure or help with my disease, I get it. Your heart is in the right place. But I can almost guarantee I've tried all of your suggestions and was very disappointed in the results. All I really want is understanding, love, and support. Nothing more. It is difficult to deal with this and I know I can't do it alone. Please save the pep talk. I appreciate you trying, but this isn't something that goes away, no matter how much anyone wishes it did. Thanks for wanting the best for me but these talks can get irritating, sorry. Some think I'm selfish or unreliable or lazy, but that is the farthest thing from the truth. I'm in so much pain and I can't control it. It's not my fault. I do a lot of silly things to distract myself because when there is something in my life not totally consumed in pain, I jump on it and find relief in it. It's sometimes the smallest things. The simplest tasks are hard for me. Things such as buttoning a shirt or opening a door or even getting out of bed, heck even making this blog, they all completely drain me. I do the best I can with the time and energy I have. Communicate. If you have any questions or concerns or problems with or about any of this then come to me and ask me. I'd much rather have you talk to me than have you sit there silently judging me, and vice versa. back - (Page 5) - next