Feels like Prison
Sometimes living with JRA feels like I'm a prisoner inside of my own body. It doesn't always work properly and it can
be painful and frustrating... and when it does work I am extremely limited. I wish others could understand what I go
Feels like Prison
We are imprisoned in our own bodies. Able to move one day and then confined to our bed or the couch the next. It's
like we are condemned to a life sentence of pain. All because we want to be able to go around and do what all other
people do. It's what leads me to my little bouts of depression.
Imagine not being able to do anything. Having people stare at you funny or pity you because you can't walk properly,
or at all. This pity makes me feel 10 times worse. Because it is just reassurance that something is wrong with me.
I never wanted it to be like this.
What did I do to deserve this? Nothing. I have honestly done absolutely nothing that would give me reason to feel
this terrible. Truth is, I was just dealt a bad hand. And it just gets to me.
I am a prisoner in my own body for absolutely no reason. But I wouldn't change a darn thing. Because it has made me
stronger and nicer and so many things that many people aren't. I'm a prisoner and I'm proud.
Strange Things Happen
You want to know what's really strange about autoimmune diseases like JRA? It's like you have a weak immune system
and a immune system like the Hulk at the same time. The immune system being weak makes you really susceptible to
viruses and such. Sometimes fighting off a common cold takes forever.
But at the same time the immune system is like a Hulk. But it's a confused Hulk, and it attacks the wrong things.
Instead of attacking the bad stuff in the body, my immune system for example attacks my joints. It's as if your
immune system doesn't recognize that these things are helpful and normal.
How does one treat such a disorder you may ask? With immune suppressants, which further weaken your immune system.
The logic being that, yes you have a overactive immune system so we will fix you by making you have no immune system.
Bam! Fixed! Right?
Wrong. This suppressed immune system is then deemed unable to fight off the other thousand things that harm the body.
In order to fix this, when we get sick we have to go off our meds and let the immune system wreak havoc again in
order to be able to hopefully fight off the other thing harming us.
Otherwise, congratulations! You're fixed!! Just live in a bubble so you can't get sick. Does this sound at all
logical?
Next time you hear me complain about feeling sick, don't tell me to suck it up. You don't understand what is
happening inside my body.
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